My Unfortunate Erection (Chip's Lament) Lyrics

CHIP

(spoken) Fritos! M & M’s? Oreos. All for one dollar.

(sung) It is tradition

That the person eliminated

From the competition

Is fair game for derision

Especially the alpha-male

Will sell goodies at the bake sale

Anyone for brownies

Anyone for chocolate chips

Anyone for anything

That isn’t dated

How could I have been

Eliminated?

You wanna know how?

You wanna know how?

You wanna know why?

My unfortunate erection

Is destroying my perfection

It is my recollection

That everything I once did

I did perfectly

(spoken) Last year’s champ defeated!

(sung) Because of

Marigold Coneybear

Because there’s something and not a thing between us

I don’t blame my brain but I do blame my penis

My unfortunate protuberance

Seems to have its own exuberance

Anyone for M & M’s?

Delicious and appropriate

Anyone for Chewy Goobers?

Inexpensive

Anyone for buying the sh*t that I’m selling?

Because my stiffy has ruined my spelling

Erection

Erection

My unfortunate erection

Whoa

It’s ruining my life

It’s ruining my world

It’s ruining my

Ruining

Ruining

Ruining my life

My life

Adulthood brings its own peculiar rejection

Which is why I’m selling this PTA

Confection

It will ruin your complexion

All because of my unfortunate

Erection

Oh God!

My Unfortunate Erection (Chip's Lament) Lyrics From The Musical 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee


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