My Unfortunate Erection (Chip's Lament) Lyrics


(spoken) Fritos! M & M’s? Oreos. All for one dollar.

(sung) It is tradition

That the person eliminated

From the competition

Is fair game for derision

Especially the alpha-male

Will sell goodies at the bake sale

Anyone for brownies

Anyone for chocolate chips

Anyone for anything

That isn’t dated

How could I have been


You wanna know how?

You wanna know how?

You wanna know why?

My unfortunate erection

Is destroying my perfection

It is my recollection

That everything I once did

I did perfectly

(spoken) Last year’s champ defeated!

(sung) Because of

Marigold Coneybear

Because there’s something and not a thing between us

I don’t blame my brain but I do blame my penis

My unfortunate protuberance

Seems to have its own exuberance

Anyone for M & M’s?

Delicious and appropriate

Anyone for Chewy Goobers?


Anyone for buying the sh*t that I’m selling?

Because my stiffy has ruined my spelling



My unfortunate erection


It’s ruining my life

It’s ruining my world

It’s ruining my



Ruining my life

My life

Adulthood brings its own peculiar rejection

Which is why I’m selling this PTA


It will ruin your complexion

All because of my unfortunate


Oh God!

My Unfortunate Erection (Chip's Lament) Lyrics From The Musical 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee

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